Memories

Memories slowly fade

But the pain stays real

Is this all that I feel?

Life goes by

Within seconds

All what’s good is gone

Revealing all my lies

Leaving all I’ve done wrong

And I’ve done so wrong

Time’s passing

Slowly passing by

All my feelings

All my reasons

Will be gone

For what I’ve done

Memories fade – slowly fade

The pain stays real

This is all that I’ll feel

Life went by

Within a gasp

All what’s been good is gone

Leaving behind all that’s wrong

Time’s passing

Slowly passing by

All my feelings

All my reasons

Will be gone

For what I’ve done

All I’ve done wrong

And I’ve done so wrong

Life went by

Within a gasp

All what’s been good is gone

Leaving behind all that’s wrong

All that will stay

Is my lie and my betray

For today

 (I am who I’ve become)

Is the day for me to pay

Normal

Is it normal that guys always want that one thing?
Only think about IT?

Is it normal that I don't?
Is it normal that I can't talk about IT?
Is it normal that I just give in? And sometimes don't, and he'll be pissed?

What is normal?
There can't be such a thing as "normalcy" in this twisted world...
I think...
And still, we always wonder... Are we normal? Am I normal? Is this normal?
It's such an interpretable word.
There's no normalcy at all...
Just what people think SHOULD be normal. They define it. We define it.
Give meaning to it.
Although it has no meaning at all
It's just an excuse for people to get rid of people they can't stand and are too complicated to be around with.
FACT:
There's no mercy
FACT:
People are cruel, children are cruel
FACT:
No one's normal at all

Ignored

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

No friends

No hope

Just lost lives

And more lies

Keep smiling

Keep pretending

You’re okay

No, it’s not okay

Take a step forward

Take two back

Trip, and hit the ground

Get up, smashed and broken

Keep smiling

Cuz you know what?

Life’s a bitch

But this is real

Funny, how life mocks me

One step forward

Two steps back

Hitting the ground

Pain was found

Lie to stay insane

Lie, and cry again

Tell me, do you care?

Die and be cried for

Live and be ignored

There should be more

Do you know what’s worse than being hated?

Being ignored

Harry Potter

An Era Ends

Harry Potter accompanied my childhood, my teenage days and now my adolescence

I grew up with it

2001 the first movie came to the theaters.

I was 10

Now I'm turning 20

10 years later we're still fascinated by this world

Created by J.K. Rowling

THANK YOU

for all those years

This movie is EPIC

One last time

We are able to see Harry, Hermoine and Ron

One last time

we can laugh with them

cry with them

fear for them

We feel the loss

Feel the anxiety

Feel our heartbeat pound

knowing that he has to die

This is the epic end

Of an era

Finally, everyone knows the truth 

Thank you, Neville!

The Music Of My Life

Sometimes I wish my life would be accompanied by music. Like in movies.

The soundtrack of my life.


Yann Tiersen - Comptine d'ete n°3
Editors - The Boxer
Yann Tiersen - I saw Daddy Today

Juli - Seenot
HIM - The Silent Life
ASP - Ich komm dich holn
Wolfsheim - Kissing the wall
Editros - Walk The Fleet Road
Yann Tiersen - Comptine d'un autre ete
Yann Tiersen - Father and Mother

Reality And More (goes with the music of Editors - The Boxer)

Hide from

Reality

Reality

and more

More

Where to go

go

Violent days

Night and days

Always

No place to go

Go

Reality

Reality and more

More

So much more

Than me

Us

Tranquility

And More

Silence me

Forlorn

Days go by

By e

Final days

Are count

Out

Leave this world

Fall apart

Your days are gone

Forlorn

Damn this world

So cold

Soooo cold

You’re ready to die

Lie

You say goodbye

Bye

Hide from

Reality

Ty

Reality

and more

More

So much more

Than me

Us

Suddenly

Tranquility

And more

More

Forlorn

Leave this world

Fall apart

Your days are gone

Forlorn

Damn this world

So cold

So damn cold

Cold

Cold

Cold

Life seems so damn cold
Torn into a tiny million pieces
All of them unique
But never enough

Wither

Wither (Chemical Garden Trilogy)






















By age sixteen, Rhine Ellery has four years left to live. She can thank modern science for this genetic time bomb. A botched effort to create a perfect race has left all males with a lifespan of 25 years, and females with a lifespan of 20 years. Geneticists are seeking a miracle antidote to restore the human race, desperate orphans crowd the population, crime and poverty have skyrocketed, and young girls are being kidnapped and sold as polygamous brides to bear more children.

When Rhine is kidnapped and sold as a bride, she vows to do all she can to escape. Her husband, Linden, is hopelessly in love with her, and Rhine can’t bring herself to hate him as much as she’d like to. He opens her to a magical world of wealth and illusion she never thought existed, and it almost makes it possible to ignore the clock ticking away her short life. But Rhine quickly learns that not everything in her new husband’s strange world is what it seems. Her father-in-law, an eccentric doctor bent on finding the antidote, is hoarding corpses in the basement. Her fellow sister wives are to be trusted one day and feared the next, and Rhine is desperate to communicate to her twin brother that she is safe and alive. Will Rhine be able to escape--before her time runs out?

Together with one of Linden's servants, Gabriel, Rhine attempts to escape just before her seventeenth birthday. But in a world that continues to spiral into anarchy, is there any hope for freedom?

http://www.amazon.de/Wither-Chemical-Garden-Trilogy-DeStefano/dp/1442409053/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311721564&sr=8-1

> A beautiful book. Her words suck you right into the story and there's no escape. Once you start you can't stop. The way she writes about Rhine's thoughts make you believe this is all real. And Stokholm syndrome gets a whole different meaning... you start to understand how hostages could possibly feel anything else but rage for their captives... Can't wait for the second book!!<

Music

Music

I love music. I adore music.

Music is Magic. It is powerful and full of emotions.

Music helps me feel something.

Music combined with Words

It can make you cry

It can make you smile

It can make you sad

It can make you  afraid

It can make you love

It can make laugh

And still it is so much more

It's different for everyone

I <3 Music

Silenced

Oh, being here seems to finally take it's toll.
I knew this was coming.
I knew he would finally realize... even more so now that we can't see each other.

I seem to estrange from him. He seems so far away.
In an other world - Out of mind
He will realize...
He will see how strange and twisted I am.
How socially awkward I am...
And then he will realize that I will never be enough.
I'm getting in his way.

Torn into a million tiny pieces

All of them unique

But never enough

NEVER ENOUGH

How will I ever be enough?

I can't breathe

Can't see

Can't speak

Deep inside I always knew

...

I was silenced long ago

A Perfect Day

A Perfect Day

What is it that would make my day perfect?

One: Helping someone, being able to be productive - as in doing something for the greater good

Two: Getting to know new people - for I rarely do so

Three: Being able to read, preferably at a nice place. As for today, that would be the front lawn of the house I'm staying right now. Sitting in the sun, enjoying the nature surrounding me, while reading a good book
*smile*
There couldn't be anything more relaxing...

I am in Vermont right now. Seeing the world through my american eyes.
Growing up in Germany is so much different.
Living in Germany is.
My american heart is enjoying this.
Though reality seems crushing back at me.
I have to think what's coming after I'm back in Germany.
And, yeah, there are a lot of things coming.
I wanna forget about them. Want to erase them...
I hope everything will turn out good.
I hope I can enjoy more of these perfect days over here....

three more weeks... the clock is ticking...
Tick, tock, tick, tock

Curiouser and Curiouser....

Of all the things I feel

Probably nobody will ever read this, so I guess I'm just honest with myself.
Trying to write down what I feel was always an issue for me....
 Cuz I never really know.
I don't know what I feel, or if what I feel is real.
I lied a million times. Lied so often.. so often the lie itself became my truth.
I feel a little dirty right know. I don't know what to do with myself.
I am probably bored.
But Jeez, there are enough things I could do.
Studying, for once.
But it seems like I just can't keep all that stuff inside my head. It feels like it's a waste of time.
Like I'm a wate of time. I can't finish what I start.

I feel the Darkness creeping in on me

Evil thoughts

Imaginations

Crawling, twisting

coming closer

Night by night

I feel it

Crawling through my veins

Itching closer to the

Surface

It wants to break free

It wants to cut free

And I am lonely

more and more

falling into sadness

seeing things...

Realizing

how BOUND I am

Torn

into a million tiny pieces

All of them unique

But 

NEVER ENOUGH

never enough...

And I will be never enough for you...